Now a New York Times Bestseller
A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of theÂ pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generationâ€™s sharpest comedic voices
At some point, every one of us embarks on aÂ journey to find love. We meet people, date, getÂ into and out of relationships, all with the hopeÂ of finding someone with whom we share a deepÂ connection. This seems standard now, but itâ€™sÂ wildly different from what people did even justÂ decades ago. Single people today have moreÂ romantic options than at any point in humanÂ history. With technology, our abilities to connectÂ with and sort through these options are staggering.Â So why are so many people frustrated?
Some of our problems are unique to our time.Â â€śWhy did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?â€ťÂ â€śShould I go out with this girl even though sheÂ listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods?Â Combos?!â€ť â€śMy girlfriend just got a message fromÂ some dude named Nathan. Whoâ€™s Nathan? Did heÂ just send her a photo of his penis? Should I checkÂ just to be sure?â€ť
But the transformation of our romantic livesÂ canâ€™t be explained by technology alone. In a shortÂ period of time, the whole culture of finding loveÂ has changed dramatically. A few decades ago,Â people would find a decent person who lived inÂ their neighborhood. Their families would meetÂ and, after deciding neither party seemed like aÂ murderer, they would get married and soon haveÂ a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today,Â people marry later than ever and spend years ofÂ their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, aÂ soul mate.
For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming hisÂ comic insight at modern romance, but for ModernÂ Romance, the book, he decided he needed to takeÂ things to another level. He teamed up with NYUÂ sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massiveÂ research project, including hundreds of interviewsÂ and focus groups conducted everywhere fromÂ Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzedÂ behavioral data and surveys and created their ownÂ online research forum on Reddit, which drewÂ thousands of messages. They enlisted the worldâ€™sÂ leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, HelenÂ Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, SherryÂ Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike anyÂ social science or humor book weâ€™ve seen before.
In Modern Romance, Ansari combines hisÂ irreverent humor with cutting-edge social scienceÂ to give us an unforgettable tour of our newÂ romantic world.